Last night I made a huge step in my "moving on process," I call it that because it is by no means a healing process yet. It still hurts just as much as it did before -- if not more so this time.
Anyways, I deleted a few texts from my phone that I'd been saving because they made me smile. Trite little messages that said something as simple as, "I love you." I guess I'd only been saving them because we didn't say it all that much, so when I did hear/read that, it meant a lot to me.
I know I'm being totally weak in this process because I stayed up crying (we're talking really crying here) for the better part of the night. I know I have my faults, but jeez, why is it always such a huge struggle for me to get over someone?
Even though it's only a small little step, I think it already is a move in the right direction. Even if I do still feel like shit about the whole thing. Even if my world has been completely devastated for the past three months. Even if I am unnecessarily dragging out and bringing on my own pain and anguish. And even though I still care about him way more than he'll ever feel about me...
It's a start.
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