And I'll always come back

I believe it's safe to say the book of "Monique's Misadventures in Europe" is finally finished. My story is written and I am now comfortably back home in California.

But let's reflect back, shall we? But before I get into it, I'm really glad I got to experience this entire situation, living and teaching abroad, because I learned a whole lot about myself. And on a much higher level than just moving away from home for the first time and going to college type of education. All I can say, is that it's good to be back.

I'm going to take the easy way out and say that my trip ended just about as horrendously and in the same by-the-seat-of-my-pants fashion with which it began.

Remember my first terrible encounter with French bureaucracy? As in, getting turned away three times from the French consulate in San Francisco before finally getting my visa and deciding on the spot, at the end of August, that I would be moving to France for supposedly the next nine months of my life?

Then when I finally did pack up my life and leave -- isn't this funny -- I came down with some really strange 24-hour stomach flu, slash nerves vomiting spell. On an international flight, in what is my opinion the worst airport in the entire world: Heathrow in London.

Then I had to deal with endless strikes day-in and day-out. Especially the first day on the job: Welcome to France! I was new, confused, and totally foreign to the city. That was a nice introduction to my life abroad.

My next hurdle came when the government said we all had to have a bank account open before October 10th if we wanted to receive our paychecks. That sounds reasonable, but opening a bank account in France is like... I really can't think of any good analogy because it was one of the worst things I've ever experienced. You need document X to open up an account. But you cannot get document X from the government until you have a statement from a bank. I'm amazed at how anyone ever gets anything done in that country...

Luckily I was on top of my stuff and got it done on time.

Since we're on the topic of impossible French bureaucracy and documents, I also had similar issues with my long-stay work permit, insurance, housing, and... other things that have currently slipped my mind. I guess they really left a lasting impression on me, even though at the time it seemed to be the end of the world ;)

Another disaster on the scale of misadventures in France came with my entire roommate situation. Nevermind she lied about her age and not smoking the day I met her. Nevermind she started making me pay for more than my half of the rent, when she was using the same amount, if not more of the utilities and water than I was. But when she stopped cleaning and then got mad at me for one day not doing her week's worth of dishes and when she threatened to kick me out for having guests from California over, even though she said two months in advance that it was cool for them to crash with us... the rollercoaster of love-hate between us came to an abrupt halt.

Nine months became seven because frankly, I don't need to be thousands of miles away from my friends and family and unhappy.

So now here I am, on my last day in Europe.

And what should happen?

More of the same old garbage. My two hour layover in Cincinnati became six. And I was doing all I could to keep my eyes open in the terminal. At least I got a free meal voucher out of it.

And at least I'm home safe! After having picked up so much more French, realizing that I can survive in any city in the world, completely on my own, without my parents' help. After working a career-type job, and for the first time not asking for anyone to pay my rent/insurance/tuition or any other expense that comes with being a dependent.

I went to France, I traveled the world, and I lived to tell about it! And that is worth every souci (worry, in English) I've wasted on my life over the past seven months.

P.S. I bought the A's shirt and shoes, since *drumroll* I got my CAF money for half my rent YESTERDAY!!! That means after being in France for seven months, I've broken even. No more debt for me... that is, until I find a job. And P.P.S., my fantasy baseball team is complete GARBAGE!

You don't know cold...

And apparently, neither do I. But in two months' time, I will. That's right, because Aimée and I will be making our way to Geneva, Switzerland. Or for those in need of visual assistance, here:

The hotels in Geneva, Lyon and Paris are all booked from December 26th through January 3, 2008! And even though this looks extremely ridiculous, I'm very, very excited!! Understatement. Especially after finding this little number on a Geneva festivals/events website:

Christmas is a special time when Geneva goes all out to bring some good old fashioned Christmas cheer to the city to help chase away the winter blahs. The International Christmas Market at Fusterie Square features hand made folk arts and crafts from throughout Switzerland as well as numerous food stalls, all housed in quaint miniature wooden chalets along the main shopping street. Free Open Air Skating is available at Place du Rhone with skate rentals for SFr. 6 for adults and SFr. 3 for children. The annual Christmas Tree Festival is a unique event presenting an array of trees and sculptures designed by renowned international artists on display throughout the city (see www.festivalarbresetlumieres.ch for more details). Finally, for the very adventurous, there is the annual Christmas Swimming Cup. The mid-December event draws over 600 swimmers who brave the icy waters to race from the Jardin Anglais to the Quai General Guisan.

This is promising because at the onset of my trip out here, I was super bummed I'd be away from everyone for Christmas. And since it's such a huge family event chez nous, it would be super strange not to start decorating trees or wrapping presents, listening to (insanely played-out) Christmas tunes and all the other fun things that go along with that. But we'll get to experience the 12 desserts of Christmas at Jean-Claude's and see all the left-over decorations in Geneva, Lyon and Paris -- where we'll also be celebrating the New Year festivities! But I will have someone from my family alongside!

Our hotel in Switzerland is blocks away from the train station, Lake Geneva, as well as the center of town, where one can find all sorts of neat castles and of course, the UN and (Swiss) Red Cross buildings. If the weather ends up being like the picture above, we could always sprint back to the hotel for an hour or two and sip some scalding beverages at the cafe and prep ourselves to run back out into the wild again. If nothing else, I would absolutely love to freeze my ass off in order just to get a look at the beautiful countryside! Or I could just sack up and register for the SWIMMING CUP. And then immediately die of hypothermia.... I'll pass, thanks.

And even though my parents have generously agreed (with some coaxing on mine and Aimée's parts) to fund our hotel stays, I plan on paying for nearly everything else on my own.

Which leads me into my next big piece of news: I've come in contact with a woman with multi-country citizenship who's currently writing her second novel. She's moving to Nice in less than a week and is in need of someone to babysit her daughter for 30 hours a week while she goes into hermitage to write. And she's sought me out for the job!

This is a very exciting opportunity (I need to get more creative with my adjectives, seeing as how "exciting" is bleeding through this entire post) for multiple reasons. A.) I'm coming into contact with a published, American author. Maybe this could strike up some sort of connection for the future...? I could always be a second pair of eyes to look over things if she wants and who knows, maybe my name will be in the acknowledgments section? And B.) Extra cash!! Thirty hours of cash-only work will come in very handy when I want to make these kinds of trips. Especially since she's not arriving until I come back from the Loire Valley in November, and she's going back to the U.S. mid-December for all the winter holidays -- when I will be traveling with my sister!

All in all, things are starting to look very, very good for me here. Now if only I could start making some local, French-speaking friends...

Oh yeah, and did I mention that I finally got my bank card and a free booklet of checks today?! No more taking money out of my American account and paying conversion fees for the exchange rate with my Bank of America ATM card!!!

"What a Wonderful World"

Preface: I wrote this post much, much earlier in the day. Not at 6 p.m. as the time stamp indicates.

Here I sit in a street-side café, having my pot of tea, watching the world pass me by to the raspy sounds of Louis Armstrong, serenely passing away the time until my first class of the day begins. Très typique if you ask me!

When I flagged down the first bus to stop at my corner to make its way downtown earlier this morning, on the line that stops by all the old folks' homes, two older men jovially wedged themselves around me and engaged in what seemed to be their routine and extremely profound morning conversation. It continued in a manner which I imagine most of my elders' conversations begin, "Oh how's your health," "How's the family," and other generic formalities like that.

What took me aback was the other's response, "Oh, I had a stroke a few years back and it paralyzed my entire right side." But his good spirits continued, "I've always thought of myself as a left-sided man anyways, so who needs the other side?"

"What mobility! What courage!" his neighbor commended.

To which he responded, "You must! Though I think of myself like a bird with the help of our faithful chauffeur here, free to land wherever I wish.

"Plus, that's a good title for a film, 'Men Like Birds.' The whole world should be like that really."

And then the man with full function of both his sides responded, "Ah, la philosophie française!"

Was I hearing this correctly? At the onset of my morning, I wasn't in the best of spirits and here these two men shoehorn themselves right in my life and have the most optimistic dialogue I've ever heard in my entire life. One part of the conversation actually reminded me of Voltaire's Candide, when he kept repeating the expression, "Tout va bien." Although that doesn't surprise me, because I assume Voltaire is heavily taught in French curriculum.

Then they continued to discuss life's other complexities with such ease, even as they descended from the bus. (Wow, that's a direct translation from French, "to descend the bus.")

And on the way home, I found myself knee-deep in two other similar conversations with, I'm guessing 60-70 year old women. Hearing the older generation's views on the world is kind of a neat pair of rose-colored glasses to try on for a few minutes. So in conclusion, on the Bus Line 3, I guess my life is kind of like Tuesdays With Morrie.

Except in French. And it's three times a week.

Comme la vie est belle!

They'll eat you alive!

...is what one of the school directors told me before I began English lessons.

And actually, such was not the case. Here I sit in the salle informatique (computer room) at Ecole La Tournière two days into and complete with my first lesson for both schools.

"What is the date today?" "Where do you come from?" "My name is..." and U.S. geography.

At first it was slightly stressful because none of the teachers here have any clue how English should be taught. Nor did they have anything that resembled a comprehensive schedule for me. So I kind of went from room to room and tried to figure it out. Day 2 went much better. Some teachers are more helpful than others, but I think I've devised a system that will work pretty well.

I'm in charge of teaching the same thing to three different levels, CE2 (third grade), CM1 (fourth) and CM2 (fifth grade).

Of course, the CE2 students have never taken English lessons before, so that's a bit of a struggle. They don't understand my "thick French accent," and when I speak English, the majority of the class is hearing it for the first time. So there's going to be a lot of pictures and songs I feel.

As for the CM classes, they knew everything already! My 45-minute games and plans dissolved after only 20-25. So they had a lot of repetition, but I don't think anyone really seemed to mind. For the second half of the week, I have to plan a lesson with many more, challenging activities for the older students.

As for my schedule it's finally been sorted out and looks something like this:

Monday: 8:30 - 10:00, 1:30 - 4:00

Tuesday: 8:30 - 11:30

Wednesday: OFF

Thursday: 8:30 - 10:00, 1:30 - 4:00

Friday: 1:30 - 4:00

Not bad, not bad at all :-)

After lunch at the cantine (cafeteria) in five minutes, I'm making my way back home for some more lesson planning and then some fun! Not sure what that entails exactly, but fun will be had.

POST-LUNCH UPDATE: The food is a completely new experience to me every time. And I thoroughly enjoy it! Today it was fish again, with a tomato-basil salad and chocolate ice cream. Plus tons and tons of bread to clean up the plate with. As for the meal itself, I think I've made a few little friends :-) I think it should be obvious why, but all the little boys in my CM1 class followed me around throughout the lunch period!! So cute. One told me his dad is an English professor and that's why his accent is so good. Another told me he and his dad bought a Mustang in the U.S. and drove from Texas to New York one summer. So all day long he brags about how their car's mileage is just that -- not in metric like everyone else in Europe.

The girls all wanted to grab my hand and show me what games they were playing and then hug me after. My first hugs in France! Adorable :-) Those little moments right there, the ability to be a student's friend and make them excited about learning even if it's just for a minute, make this entire thing worth while.

Quatorze jours (deux semaines!)

Maybe I'm way too naive and overly optimistic.




...But I can't wait for something to finally work out right in my life. I don't know when that day will come, but I'm ready for it.

I'd like to exchange this pair.

And everyone wonders why I have such low self-esteem.

For some reason I keep stumbling across guys who are -- in the end -- totally wrong for me. I’ve never been able to keep one interested for a long period of time. Nor have I ever dated a guy who told me I was beautiful. Not like I would have believed him, but things like that start helping to build up confidence where none existed before.

I want to be in love so badly, that I try to fit them through these little molds in which they don’t fit. And for that reason, I am to blame. For trying too hard to see the good in people and waiting to give them the credit I think they deserve, because I really am that naïve. I see people for what they should be and not what they are. And it always lets me down, leaving me hurt and completely exposed.

What makes matters worse, is that they leave me different than I started. Despite all my accomplishments and the success I should feel for myself, I instead feel worthless, unattractive and unimportant. But most of all, I feel like I am replaceable, because I probably am.

The closest analogy I can think of is like trying on a pair of pants. Sometimes you have to struggle through really crappy, overpriced pairs of jeans that show off all your imperfections and flatter you in all the wrong areas. But eventually (because I am forever an optimist), you happen across the right pair, the ones that make you feel and look like a million bucks. And then you never want to take those jeans off.

Well, it might not be like that for everyone else, but that’s how things are with me (literally, the pants-shopping process as well as the male department).

Back to the sale racks I guess. Preferably the ones near the slimming mirrors.