FMD. (Where D=Door)

I had a terrible day yesterday.

Since it's the holiday break, I left a few hours early from work, excited to clean the house some more, bake, do laundry, scrapbook, etc. But instead, both doors to my house gave me the middle finger.

Let me back up a bit here. Our back door lock sticks. Instead of clicking once you put the key in, it just spins in circles and never catches to unlock. So our landlord said that was the original lock and needed to be replaced. And we've known that for several weeks now, but has anyone taken care of it.....? Well to make matters worse, as soon as I couldn't get in last night, I opted to try the front door. But apparently when it's raining the screen door sticks in the door frame and won't open. Fruitlessly trying to open either door, and then going back and forth between the two for 20 minutes, I kicked the front door and crumpled to the floor so upset and frustrated with myself that I began to cry like a small child. It was the most frustrating moment I've had in a long time.

So finally I realized to call my friend, and he came and popped the screen door open for me with the help of tools from the garage. Immediately after I got in, I ran to Home Depot and purchased a new door knob.

And so I present you a 10-step re-enactment of my horrendous evening yesterday:

Taking out all the pieces was terrible, especially because I didn't assume it'd be messy, so I got grease all over the place from inside the door knob.

TAKE THAT, DOOR!

"Easy installation," Yeah these three tiny, ambiguous drawings are so simple. I totally can master fixing a door now.

Ok, I screwed the middle latch in. Only to find out 15 hours later that it was on backwards. FML.

Fixing the inside part of the door frame.

And, this is actually a lie. It's not screwed in all the way. I think I got a faulty one, because the screws won't go in. I need some power tools. Anyone???

As I write this, I believe J.D.'s fixing the door right now. Awesome. I've stopped caring, because it has caused me literally five hours of stress and ridiculous frustration.

And to make matters worse, I tore my sweater when I was putting it back on, because there were splinters in the door that my sleeve caught on. Oh yeah, and I JUST bought that sweater at GAP in Vegas last week.

And then when I came home, I was plugging in the Christmas lights and the reindeer/sleigh on the mantle toppled off the mantle and fell into the tree. So I jumped over to try and stop them from falling and breaking and hit the tree, almost knocking it and all the ornaments on the ground.

So Ben took me out to get some drinks and dinner so as to forget my horrible night. And when I walked into the restroom at the end of the night, I slipped in someone's piss.

Can I take a nap from life right now?!?!?!

(Also, thanks Ben for saving some of my sanity last night!!!)

This is so disgusting

This morning (MORNING, as in before 10 a.m.) as I'm getting ready for work, I heard a really troubling commercial on the radio. Granted, it was on the Adam Carolla show, but still, it's not like this was a Love Line commercial or anything.

It starts off like your average online dating ad generally does, however I knew something was awry when the man narrating was asking if listeners were looking for a discreet, new relationship. As in, are you bored with your marriage or current relationship? Are you looking to have an affair?


I'm gagging just thinking about this right now. At first, I almost started laughing because it legitimately sounded like it could have been a spoof, SNL-ish type of commercial. But it kept going. He continually repeated how this could be the love of your life, or just for fun. Ugh, I really can't even think about this anymore, it's so despicable.

And if you even know me one bit, you can understand how this is so appalling to me. I believe that cheating on someone is the worst thing you could possibly ever do. People who sign up for this company deserve to have their hearts shattered for life.

It's not fair that things like this exist and ridiculous people feel like this is an acceptable behavior.

Alright, I'm getting off my fidelity/pro-monogamy soapbox. Actually, no I'm not. I'm so morally opposed to this and hate that this website exists and is making profits!!!!!

Scary news....

We keep hearing all this b.s. about California's gaping budgetary deficits. But here it is, folks. In three weeks, by February 1, California will have to declare bankruptcy. Our hypothetical situation if our state government can't fix its shit will be to send out I.O.U.s like they're going out of style, alongside massive state employee lay-offs. Well, doesn't this sound like a fabulous plan?

I'm not really that excited to see where this takes us, or what kind of deals the California legislators are going to scheme up. Heaven only knows.

Arnold has another kind of termination he'll need to ward off again.... (da-da, chhhhhhh). Sorry.


I'll be doing my part to keep California's economy rolling. After picking up some groceries at Trader Joe's tonight, I cooked myself a crab cake on a bed of lettuce greens and veggies, with some sweet potato fries. Trying to eat light so I can go out on my dessert date pretty soon tonight ;)

Kind of excited for that.

Pas surprenant

Every now and then, I remember that I can watch the journal télévisé online. Whenever I can remember, I watch the news shows to keep practicing my French listening skills and my trivial knowledge about what's going on in Europe.

Shocking that today they're talking about the huge educational strike, resulting one absence out of every two primaire (elementary school teacher) and one of four séconde (middle-high school teacher).

That's no surprise to me whatsoever, that most French schools are closed today due to the strike. (Or I guess that was yesterday since it's 3 a.m. in France right now)

Money doesn't grow on trees

But it certainly comes out of gas pumps.

Let's talk about something disconcerning right now. Gas throughout California is anywhere between $4.19 and $4.45 a gallon. The lower end of the spectrum to be found only at cheap retail truck stops in the middle of nowhere, and the higher prices in really expensive areas. Don't even get me started on diesel which clocks in at a shockingly high $5.20 per gallon.

As I'm pumping my gas yesterday, I notice some signs on the side of the pump reading something to the effect of "You are not allowed to spend more than $75 on your tank." Which explains a loooooot to me right now, seeing as how the last few times I tried to fill the Explorer, the pump shut off at under 3/4 of a tank. I tried in vain to continue filling, knowing that surely it takes longer than a minute to fill my car.

So, apparently now we're being rationed on both water and gas out here.

Green, schmeen.

Alright, I get that it's "Earth Week" and that I live in the Bay Area and Earth Day was a huge deal.

But have I really been out of the country THAT long?!

What is the deal with everything being Green these days? I'm totally about saving the environment and conserving, but this is going butt-crazy overboard. Like, ridiculously.

For example, my mom and I were watching t.v. and during a five-commercial-in-a-row stretch, I probably heard the word "green" about 36 times! Anything ranging from the HGTV "Green House Give-Away" to Sun Chips being made "a little greener with natural solar energy" and of course Macy's "Turn Over a New Leaf" event, which for a mere $3.99, you can buy your own tote bag made completely from recycled fibers and "shop a little greener."

Ok, fine, save the environment. That's good. Just don't brag about how green you are when you're driving to the grocery store with your hemp bag in your frickin' Hummer!

...Vent over. This was one "trend" I did not miss while living abroad.