We present the amazing, the fantastic, the freakish and exotic, Miss Monique!
And let me tell you dear patrons, you're in for a special treat tonight, because she's traveled far and wide to be here with us. From the warm and sunny beaches of California all the way to the rain-soaked South of France, here she is!
...I've had to jump through yet another hoop this morning. And for my next act, I'll be juggling knives while eating fire. Scratch that, I'll be applying for the position of 1,000 lb. lady.
Just kidding. But this morning was a bit of a waste of my time, since I tried in vain to get my social security card and medical insurance over here. Two days ago, the woman just above me sent an email explaining that I should have all the necessary documents to get my social security. Documents that were sent back to me in October, without any instruction whatsoever. So I took a look at the documents, which supposedly listed what other papers I needed to bring along with me. Basically, I had everything including "official documentation," which I think said, be it a birth certificate or passport. So I opted for the passport instead, because I put my certificate somewhere -- which I'll be needing to find later.
Anyways, Sarah and I braved the rain to find the insurance building at 8 a.m. in order to avoid all the messy lines usually associated with French bureaucracy. We get there and it turns out I'm missing a doctor and eight hundred photocopies of everything. I guess that means I'll be photocopying like a madwoman at school tomorrow and I'll have to find a doctor willing to sign off my medical references. Essentially I can only see one approved doctor.
Now, where to find such a person....
But the best part is how disgusting I must have looked throughout it all.
Seeing as how I got home from the teachers' dinner this morning at 1 a.m. then woke up at 7 a.m. to get to the insurance office on time. Times like that, I really wish France had some sort of portable coffee available, i.e. STARBUCKS. Man am I tired.
The dinner itself was fantastic. I tried to keep conversation in French, but it was hard seeing as how we had about a million people and Moroccan music was blaring all night long. My stomach was also not helping my cause, as it was grumbling so much I could hardly focus. That's what happens when you don't eat dinner until 10 p.m., after having lunch at noon.
On the way home, two of the male teachers -- probably in their mid-30s -- started talking to some drunk on the streets. They're not very serious people normally -- or ever for that matter -- and so when said drunk begins asking them if "so-and-so" should be coming soon, they joke with him saying yeah, he's going to be late, blah blah blah. Turns out they have no idea who or what this man's talking about and I guess he started to get really upset because his friend wasn't there. So one punch gets thrown and that's all I really noticed. Next thing I see was a flash of bodies all throwing this man into the nearest store window, sending off the police alarms after midnight in Downtown Cannes.
When they finally settled things down and started to walk away, the drunk threw himself on them again and subsequently wound up on the floor in a crumpled heap. I guess one of the teachers does kick boxing and judo, so the others joked that he missed his training/practice yesterday so did that instead. Oh yeah, and after 15 minutes of fuss and the break-in alarms going off, not one police officer EVER showed up.
And when the directrice -- principal of the school -- asked the other teacher what had just happened or how he was doing, he replied:
"I don't think I should have eaten that pizza before coming earlier tonight."
Jesus.
And let me tell you dear patrons, you're in for a special treat tonight, because she's traveled far and wide to be here with us. From the warm and sunny beaches of California all the way to the rain-soaked South of France, here she is!
...I've had to jump through yet another hoop this morning. And for my next act, I'll be juggling knives while eating fire. Scratch that, I'll be applying for the position of 1,000 lb. lady.
Just kidding. But this morning was a bit of a waste of my time, since I tried in vain to get my social security card and medical insurance over here. Two days ago, the woman just above me sent an email explaining that I should have all the necessary documents to get my social security. Documents that were sent back to me in October, without any instruction whatsoever. So I took a look at the documents, which supposedly listed what other papers I needed to bring along with me. Basically, I had everything including "official documentation," which I think said, be it a birth certificate or passport. So I opted for the passport instead, because I put my certificate somewhere -- which I'll be needing to find later.
Anyways, Sarah and I braved the rain to find the insurance building at 8 a.m. in order to avoid all the messy lines usually associated with French bureaucracy. We get there and it turns out I'm missing a doctor and eight hundred photocopies of everything. I guess that means I'll be photocopying like a madwoman at school tomorrow and I'll have to find a doctor willing to sign off my medical references. Essentially I can only see one approved doctor.
Now, where to find such a person....
But the best part is how disgusting I must have looked throughout it all.
Seeing as how I got home from the teachers' dinner this morning at 1 a.m. then woke up at 7 a.m. to get to the insurance office on time. Times like that, I really wish France had some sort of portable coffee available, i.e. STARBUCKS. Man am I tired.
The dinner itself was fantastic. I tried to keep conversation in French, but it was hard seeing as how we had about a million people and Moroccan music was blaring all night long. My stomach was also not helping my cause, as it was grumbling so much I could hardly focus. That's what happens when you don't eat dinner until 10 p.m., after having lunch at noon.
On the way home, two of the male teachers -- probably in their mid-30s -- started talking to some drunk on the streets. They're not very serious people normally -- or ever for that matter -- and so when said drunk begins asking them if "so-and-so" should be coming soon, they joke with him saying yeah, he's going to be late, blah blah blah. Turns out they have no idea who or what this man's talking about and I guess he started to get really upset because his friend wasn't there. So one punch gets thrown and that's all I really noticed. Next thing I see was a flash of bodies all throwing this man into the nearest store window, sending off the police alarms after midnight in Downtown Cannes.
When they finally settled things down and started to walk away, the drunk threw himself on them again and subsequently wound up on the floor in a crumpled heap. I guess one of the teachers does kick boxing and judo, so the others joked that he missed his training/practice yesterday so did that instead. Oh yeah, and after 15 minutes of fuss and the break-in alarms going off, not one police officer EVER showed up.
And when the directrice -- principal of the school -- asked the other teacher what had just happened or how he was doing, he replied:
"I don't think I should have eaten that pizza before coming earlier tonight."
Jesus.
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