Greener Grass

It's funny that once someone -- ok it was more like a few people -- told me they were jealous because, right before I graduated in March I had "the perfect boyfriend (baseball player), amazing grades (true), and an awesome job lined up (although it was not my first choice)."

And at the time, all I could do was smile and say thanks. I wasn't going to make any apologies, because I've worked really hard my whole life in classes and preparing for a job I want. As for the relationship, I've only ever had one before the comment and I thought I had waited a long time for the right person and that was finally paying off.

Now here I am a few months later and all I can do is feel sorry for myself. Well, maybe that's not it. But still.

I just want to be happy and to be with someone who will make me the center of their world. That's all I'm asking for, because apparently I fall way too hard and get way too attached for my own good.

And how much of a shame would it be for me to stop doing that? When the right time comes (IF it even does) I'm sure I would want to feel that same exact way, because I imagine that when it's reciprocated my world will be complete.

I guess until then, I'm going to envy everyone that told me my life was perfect back when, because they at least are happy with significant others now. Who cares if you can't figure out what you're going to do in life... as long as you have someone there for support to help get through it all. I don't even have that anymore.