Puppy Love

It's taken me a while to think about this. Well, I can't really stop thinking about it, I was just hoping to do some justice here.

On Valentine's Day 1998, I was struck hard by Cupid's arrow. I know it was the first love of my life. That was the second full day I got to spend with my brand new border collie puppy, Daisy.

From there my puppy love grew into a friendship I assumed would last a lifetime. From Daisy running down the driveway every day I drove home from high school to greet me, to car rides letting me sleep on her as a pillow, to taking pictures with her on prom, to running with her to get us both in shape, to chasing deer down the street together, I never once thought twice about how great of a dog I had.

She had a personality all her own, too. It doesn't take a dog person to detect each dog's distinct smile, and Daisy definitely had her own. She had her own way of talking with us too. And responding. We could never mention the words "walk," "leash," "treat," "squirrel," "deer," "swim," or "kisses" without that smart little pooch understanding us as if we were speaking to a fellow human being. I was so proud of myself the year I taught her how to high five, and the pride grew even greater when we each took turns patiently waiting as she slowly learned how to fetch the newspaper each morning. It even got to the point where we'd open the front door and she'd handle it all on her own without any instruction in the mornings.

I don't know if it's things like that I'm going to miss more, or just snuggling and wrestling with her. I can't even begin to estimate the countless number of times I'd just lay on the ground and cuddle with my puppy. Not even in her lifetime, but each day. My dad used to call me crazy, but I loved her so much I'd kiss her sometimes and "give him/her kisses" was even a command Daze learned to reciprocate.

Despite the fact that I moved out at least three times since high school, Daisy was always the first to greet me, and the last member of our family I'd hug or wave to before leaving. She still remained a very large part of my life. Even from afar.

As I wipe the tears away from my eyes this very moment, it's with a heavy, heavy heart that I say I'm going to miss that dog more than anything I've ever missed in my 24 years of existence. I never really got the chance to say goodbye, so I'm hoping this is some form of closure for me.

It wasn't until they put her down, that I found out Daisy had a very aggressive cancer that crept up on her and claimed her life in less than two weeks without any signs really. In one day, she was gone from my life so quickly.

I just never knew it'd be this hard. Daisy was the sweetest, smartest, most fun and affectionate dog I've ever had and I know it's going to take a lot of tries to even come close to a dog like that. I just wish I had another chance to play with her one last time....

I still don't think this entry does any justice at all to how I feel about her and how heavy a weight I feel in my heart every breathing moment of every day. I'm convinced more than ever, that a dog is truly as much a family member as anyone else.